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For many years, I’ve had this feeling of wanting to go home. It doesn't happen every day. But when it happens, it feels as if my home is not where I am living, or where I came from. At times it can feel quite isolating.
“And when the day arrives I'll become the sky and I'll become the sea and the sea will come to kiss me for I am going home. Nothing can stop me now.”– Trent Reznor
When I first noticed it, I was confused. But now, instead of judging myself (or giving myself over to despair) I honour it, knowing that it’s another key to my heart.
I explore the many layers of "home" in detail in my intimate memoir Back to the Water. It's a tale exploring the home I came from as a child. A tale of the "home" I yearned for in my dreams. And it's a tale of finding home again, after losing my parents. Sharing just in case you're in "that" part of life too... while you're awakening.
If you’re experiencing recurring dreams of wanting to go home (or your having these feelings while awake) here are some things to consider as you seek.
The feeling of the dream is always the same though the people and places are different. It’s very emotional. When I wake up, the feeling lingers and it takes a while to come back to reality.
In the first part of the dream, I’m really happy. I’m remembering some remarkable travels, visiting the most beautiful place I’ve ever been. There was water. There was green. There were people with whom I felt peaceful and accepted.
It was a secret gem that not many people knew about and I felt lucky to have found it. Now that I had, I knew I would travel there, again and again.
I had originally traveled there alone. In the dream, I want to share it. So I’m gushing about the place to those I care about, my memory is sharp and I’m leading the way.
At first, I am confident that I could find the place again as it’s really etched in my mind. But each place we come to falls short. Time and time again, we come to a new place, but it isn’t the same.
Slowly I begin to lose hope. I realize that my memory of the place is fading. I begin to feel the sadness of wanting to go home.
The longer I search, the more I give up inside. A slow-seeping feeling of despair creeps over my heart. I am no longer hopeful I’ll find my way back. I wonder if it was a figment of my imagination. I wonder if I’ve been leading those I love into a wild goose chase. I no longer trust myself.
I awake from the dream close to tears, with a heavy mix of despair and longing. I am disappointed to wake in my bed. I am sad to be here, on this earth, with its struggles and its shadows. Even more, I am wanting to go home.
Have you had a dream about wanting to go home? Or a suspicion that the earth is not your real home?
You’re not alone, that’s for sure. I’ve read there are 65 million or more of us here. While I cannot give you specific advice on what you’re experiencing, I will share what I found that resonated with me in hopes that it will inspire you.
Warning! This may require you to open your mind. Pay attention to what resonates for you. That’s what’s important.
If you’re resonating with this now... be loving to yourself, always. For the earth isn’t an easy place to be.
I do still have this dream now and then. However, I’ve also come to believe that on a soul level I chose to come here at this time. And because I’m still here, there must be more for me to do and experience.
I am kind with myself and have compassion for my sensitivities. I keep both feet on the ground. I take what I learn and seek ways to help others and bring my spiritual insights into the physical world, while having some fun along the way.
So while I have the feeling of wanting to go home now and then, I don’t fantasize about leaving my body or leaving the earth. I don’t strive to rise up over life (I do seek to move through).
After a ton of research, I do firmly believe that there are many species other than humans (the universe is a big place after all). However, I don’t believe that some sort of spiritual cavalry being sent to save us from ourselves and I don’t believe in an instantly blissful Golden Age.
What feels right to me is a gradual transition. A slow-burn, if you will. A mix of people with many agendas and at the core of it all, our free-will choices.
I do believe in the potential of the human heart to transform. I do believe each individual’s transformation can touch others, even if we never say a word. I do believe that while reality may be more complex than any of us can appreciate, all of the answers of the universe are inside us, if we only take the time to listen.
If you’re wanting to go home now, see it as a hint, a puzzle-piece, a beautiful remembering. See it as reason to up your game, here on earth. Ask your heart for more signs. Also realize that awakening can take place on many levels, in many areas of your life (see my article Spiritual Awakening Process for more).
Here’s a final, fascinating perspective to consider.
I’ve read that some humans have ET souls and that some of those are called Wanderers.
Note that I am not saying that this is absolute undeniable truth. What I am saying is that it resonates for me somehow. Perhaps as another puzzle-piece. Here are two good ways to explore this idea, if you choose.
I heard researcher David Wilcock say in an interview that he found the above ET Quiz serendipitously in a book store and that strongly he related to it. So I checked it out myself.
This is an old style website and strangely, I can’t give you a direct link to the Quiz page. But as I prefer to link to the original quiz creator, I’m sending you to their home page, with instructions. To take the quiz:
Ha! Well now I know why I’ve always been fascinated by time-travel. My ET quiz score is 78 by the way.
And finally, if you're interested in knowing more about the power of your dreams, read my article Why do people dream? – An interview with Toronto, Ontario
Dream Therapist Ursula Carsen.
Discover Back to the Water – My intimate memoir is a Love Letter for those who feel they're the Odd Ducks in the family. I include my dream of going home in the book too, because it was a profound part of my search.
Spiritual awakening symptoms – Here are more awakening symptoms to consider as you explore.