True soulmate story: radical reinvention

Listen to the interview with Renee Annis

“Spirit aligns you, it pairs you up with people, puts you in the company for some reason, you have to pay attention. ”

– Renee Annis during our interview

Karen: I'm delighted to welcome Renee Annis as a guest today. I first met Renee during an astrology session at my condo in Toronto years ago. We've kept in touch and she has a remarkable story to tell.

Here's a bit about Renee... and then we'll dive in!

Renee Annis is on a mission to revolutionize what being a mom means today and inspire women to reclaim their innate power. Her powerful messages ring true for all women - that we must put ourselves first in order to be our best for our families and those we care about.

Renee has become an expert in balancing the many facets of her life while empowering herself. She's hit rock bottom and almost lost her family only to bounce back up better, stronger, wiser and more loving.

Her experiences have given Renee an incredible resilience to overcoming obstacles and to seeing life from a higher, more positive, perspective.

She is gifted at finding the lessons in any situation and has a talent for empathizing with people and knowing how to help them improve their lives.

Renee is also an inspiring coach and speaker.

Welcome Renee! First... for those who haven't met their soulmates yet... tell us how you met your partner Michael... it's a great story.

Renee: Thanks Karen, I'm glad to be here! Well, when I saw you for the astrology session, we'd only been living together for a couple of months. Michael was my superintendent. I had moved into my first apartment all by myself.

To give you an idea of where I was at – two years prior I was engaged to be married to someone else. We had been together for seven years, and we were preparing for a wedding. Invitations had been sent out. Everything had been planned. Everything was running smoothly except for me.

It was confusing and I saw a counselor at that time. My fiancé was a great guy. He wanted to marry me, but I didn't want to marry him. So I called off the wedding, and went on a two year discovering myself journey.

I lived with a girlfriend and it was really fun, a blast. I was really ready to live on my own and that's when Michael came in. The universe decided not to give me much of a time to live on my own, but that's what I was feeling when I moved into my own place.

I had found a great apartment in downtown Toronto. It was like the Mary Tyler Moore apartment! I just knew I had to take it as soon as I stepped off the subway. Something told me inside of my being that I was going someplace that I had to be.

Michael was the one who showed me the apartment that day because the regular superintendent wasn't there that day...

Karen: Coincidences! Yes...

Renee: Right... you know, spirit aligns you, it pairs you up with people, puts you in the company for some reason, you have to pay attention. He was actually living with his fiancé then.

So over a number of months, we became really good friends. He broke it off with his ex way before we got together. It really blossomed from there. I didn't even look at him romantically at first. I just thought he was fun and cute...

Karen: He is cute... I've seen pictures.

Renee: Yes, he is! I just really liked talking with him at that point. Anyway, one day, my toilet seat broke. I left about ten messages and he never called back. Finally I told him... please get this fixed. Just let yourself in.

Later I found out that he wasn't calling back, because he wanted me to be home when he came over. Had a little secret crush...

Karen: Sneaky guy...

Renee: Yeah, so that blew up in his face! (laughs) But he didn't give up. He left a note on my door. This was what really got me. All those times staying up late and chatting in the courtyard, sharing our deepest darkest secrets, he put a note on my door asking if I'd like to join me in one of his favourite passtimes, walking around the neighbourhood.

I thought, that's so sweet! Who says that? It warmed my heart. That was it. A few days later, we went on our walk, we got soaking wet, it poured rain crazy hard, we sought shelter under the tree, you know the Forest Hill area...

Karen: I used to live there myself, lots of big trees there… it's beautiful.

Renee: We were soaking wet, socks and jeans sticking to you kind of wet. We kept going, stopped in Starbucks for two hours, and then we walked home. That was the beginning of everything.

Karen: So did you know from then that he was the one? Was it a slow build from there too?

Renee: No, no more slow build! (laughs) We were joined at the hip from then on. We just got along go well. He was the first person that I wanted to tell about my day to. We really hit it off. We moved in together after three months.

Many people thought we were nuts, but I had never done something like that before, I was normally a planner. Then came Michael... it was so right. There was just something.

Karen: I love your story. Now you're married now, with two children. Looking back, what have you learned about soulmate relationships that you didn't' know before.

Renee: You know, soulmate relationships are not perfect relationships. We think that we're going to find our soulmates and everything's going to be fine, sunshine and rainbows. But that's not the case.

I believe that soulmates come into your life to learn, to teach you. You will learn the most from that person, than you will with anybody else. They are there to challenge you and make you better and my husband and I have done that for each other.

Sometimes over the past ten years, it's been tough and I just wanted to throw in the towel. But I always came out better and stronger. Soulmates are an incredible attraction between two people. An initial attraction, call it physical. Then there's that kismet, that energy that's about your whole being.

The fluffy stuff and rainbows comes and goes in waves. It's during the down waves that you really need to take what the person is showing you. I think that especially in today's society, people have forgotten this. We want things to come easily, and we've forgotten.

Not to judge relationships that end... maybe there's a real reason to split

Karen: Sure, sometimes there's a natural ending too...

Renee: But just because you have a down time, doesn't mean that it's over, or not meant to be. It may just mean that you're meant to be better, together.

Karen: Yes, I remember meeting you, with your soul mission in Scorpio. Your journey is all about change and reinvention. For you, nothing should stay the same... it's about never hanging on to anything that's old or outdated in your life, including relationships.

What I've noticed now [during The Shift] is that many long-standing relationships are ending. A friend's 22 year marriage is ending, and she's re-discovered her high school sweetheart, and moving to the UK. Another friend's 15 year marriage is ending. Sometimes there is a natural end.

But the other choice for couples is a profound reinvention... is that what you've gone through?

Renee: Absolutely! You know, one time early on when my son was 15 months old, we almost broke up. Michael was a big-time drinker and let's just say there was a car involved, my kids... getting out of the car and flopping into a doorway.

His drinking was an ongoing challenge for a couple of years. I thought that he stopped and it turned out he hadn't. I was the classic co-dependent, and lost myself in those few years, worrying about him so much.

We were looking to each other to pull ourselves out of the holes we were in. After that night, I thought no more. I'm done. I don't know what I want and I'm in no emotional state to make a decision, but I'm done. I didn't want to stay in a place where the relationship was ripping my heart out.

I was confused about whether I should leave with my son or not. So I decided not to decide and start working on myself, and this is where my personal journey started.

Karen: I've written about catalysts and tipping points in life on The Soulmate Site. Talk to us about that, for those who might be experiencing that right now.

Renee: Well, we were looking up at this big mountain and we decided to look at it in a different way. We took small steps. I also decided not to go along with it any more. I decided what I was going to do first. At the time, I didn't know if he'd come along. But I had to start with me first.

I read book after book. Cheryl Richardson, Wayne Dyer, Tony Robbins, anything that I could bring into my being. Slowly, the mountain didn't look so big. I could see my progression bit by bit.

Instead of giving myself the pressure of having to make a big decision, I gave myself permission and freedom to feel the decision and feel what was right. Forcing the decision wasn't right, I needed to feel it. Know myself a bit more. My wants, desires, values, what I stood for.

One thing that helped me the most in the beginning was defining my own values. I hadn't thought about what I stood for in so long. I was listening to Brian Tracy on the way to work. He was talking about values... what do you model your decision around each day. What do I stand for? What would I put up with? Not put up with?

So what I came to was that Michael had to be on board with changing himself to. He surprised me because he jumped on board after he was listening to my CDs in the car one say. He said: there is value in this.

I was blessed because not all partners make that choice, and if he didn't we wouldn't be here. But he did and it sparked things we could do together.

The funny thing is that for 15 years prior, I had been a personal development junkie before. But I fell on and off, and I wasn't consistently doing the stuff.

Now, it's because I've been down in the gutter, that I can help people do the same. And for people who are there in the pit, figuring out what's important to you, your values is the first step.

Karen: NOW! Fast forward. You're working together... tell us what you're up to now.

Renee: Personal development is part of our lives. We thought: let's help people. We've been in the gutter, we know what it feels like. Why can't we teach other couples, other families to do the same?

I started taking on coaching clients. We've now taken everything we learned, and put it together in a program. It's worked for my coaching clients, which are mostly moms, because often women are the ones that bring personal development into the family. In our business, I'm the face, I'm the coach. He's my guy behind the scenes.

We're careful to keep the balance. We carve out non-negotiable family time for example, every day. We plan time for ourselves too. For women... we tend to go until we break. That's why it's so important that we take care of ourselves first. It's kind of like the oxygen mask on a plane... put it on yourself first, before you put a child's on.

Karen: How do you help your clients?

Renee: Here's an example. My client had two kids and these two needed a bit more medical care than normal and it was demanding 24/7 care. She was burnt out, struggling with depression, and then she started working with me.

We introduced incremental daily changes to her habits which resulted in big changes. She learned to look at those moment with her children as magic moments. To take those five minutes, whether it's in the car or the doctor's office, to bond.

For her, it was also important to move her body. Start with 15 minutes a day... you alone, moving your body, getting into a sweat. Now she works out every day. She's happier than she's ever been and she's moving forward with her own business.

Karen: Yes, even just making the decision to work with someone like yourself is a first step. Something happens inside. So who are your clients?

Renee: Predominently women, moms. Also some single women too.

Karen: So tell what else you're doing.

Renee: We're offering Seven Steps to Creating the Life that You Want as an email program. Takes a few minutes a day. It helps you unlock your vision and mission, and define what you want, why you want it, and how to get it.

Karen: So how would someone read about it and sign up?

Renee: Go to OneFabulousLife.com and read about it. There's also coaching with me. Right now, we're just launching so there are great deals, up to half off my regular rates, so it's a great time to get involved.

I also believe that there needs to be the right fit! So I offer a 30 minute free call. Fill out the form on our site and I'll get back to you. You can also sign up for our newsletter, too and folks can get that from OneFabulousLife.com as well.

Karen: Wonderful, thanks so much for your time today. I find your story so inspirational! I hope my readers do too...

Renee: You're welcome!

Meaning of life articles for your heart. Created with love.

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