The purpose of heartbreak: yes, there's a reason (here's a few)

“What the heart has once owned and had, it shall never lose.”

– Henry Ward Beecher

Don't know about you, but I've been there: desperately trying to stay afloat in the depths of an emotional abyss. Spinning with no end in sight.

Well first, let me say: if you hold on, if you keep searching: you will emerge. And then slowly, you'll become stronger. You'll become more, well: You.

Play with me a moment. To do this, imagine a time in your life when you had it all figured out. You're a child, fearless. You think you've met your soulmate. You got that job, or you got into that school. You've got life by the tail, all planned out.

How much time did you spend on reflection? Growth? Inner questions? Next to none, right? When life is going tickety-boo and there's no discomfort, why go there?

The first sign is the restlessness

“One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can't utter.”

– James Earl Jones

As a kid, I was The Wonder Child in my family, though I didn't seek to be this. I couldn't help it. Things just came easily to me. Grades, friends, sports. I naturally followed the rules.

At 16, I was like a settled 45 year old! I just figured life would continue serving me up wonderful bounty, because that's who I was. Looking back, to be honest, I felt smugly superior. I wasn't unkind or cruel. But I did feel special and untouchable, and that “bad stuff” happened to everyone else.

At about 18, restlessness set in and I began a superficial few years. At 25, I promptly made choices that resulted in my heart being ripped open. Disappointment after disappointment. Every time I thought I couldn't handle more: another disappointment.

Yeah, my soul loved me that much

“Let your tears come. Let them water your soul.”

– Eileen Mayhew

My first real heartbreak at 25, was one of many that would follow.

Over many years I struggled, and then finally, forgave and found peace. Make no mistake: this process took years with many stumbles along the way. Even when I was deep into personal development work, I'd make a choice in good faith, and then I'd find myself knocked to my knees again, revealing a whole new layer.

These heartbreak experiences I now see as my Soul Catalysts. What they did over time, was soften me. Ground me. Make me more grateful, more humble, more resilient. They helped me stop pretending, and claim who I really was deep inside.

And they gave me the most generous gift of all: the desire to help others on the same spiritual awakening journey: the journey from the Mind to the Heart.

Today, I look back at myself as a young woman who early on lived a charmed life. But then for a time, life changed. But there was a purpose to the heartbreak: and I'm living it today.

I look back at this earlier version of myself with love, and feel protective of her. For despite her defiant, shielding strength, I know her true vulnerability.

The journey of heart awakening

“The longest journey you'll ever travel, is the one you make from your head to your heart.”

– Cynthia Barlow

It's only been recently that I've come to realize fully that my writing, for some, is a bridge between the head and heart. For me first. And to those on a similar path.

There's a deeper purpose to heartbreak

How do you know if the real purpose of your heartbreak is heart awakening? You'll know if you also feel restless, desiring change. If what surrounds you no longer make sense. If you feel angry or depressed. If you're resisting life change. If you feel disconnected, misunderstood, alone.

You'll also know if you do everything you can to clamp down on your heart, to unnaturally stop your natural flow of emotion - but your heart gets broken anyway.

You'll know when you finallly realize there's nowhere to run... except through. You'll know when superficial doesn't cut it - and it's time to dive deep.

What if the purpose of your heartbreak was meant to re-connect you to Source?
To help you open your intuition?
To deepen your appreciation for what you have?
To increase your compassion for others? To increase your resilience? To help you re-claim your true power?
To prompt you to go within and ask: Who am I and why am I here? To seek the truth about yourself... and about life?
To increase intimacy in your relationships?

An open heart is a conduit

“Love is of all passions the strongest, for it attacks simultaneously the head, the heart and the senses.”

– Lao Tzu

Here's what I've learned about the purpose of a broken heart. Your open heart is a conduit which connects you to Source Energy and your higher self. Your heart is an energy field, and free flowing heart energy is the key to trusting yourself.

Healing the heart isn't for everyone. Lots of folks go through life, with their hearts closed and find no purpose to their heartbreak (and even check out). Personally, I'd rather not hang out with these folks too long.

What's the purpose of heartbreak?

“The expansion of a single being even to God, this is love.”

– Victor Hugo

To put a cap on this question, let me say it this way. What do you feel when you're around someone who has a closed heart? Would you call them when you're vulnerable? Do you feel safe with them? Do they feel authentic to you?

What do you feel in the presence of someone who's had their heart broken, and then quietly restores themselves to become a stronger, kinder and more compassionate person?

Well, there you go.

The purpose of heartbreak is that it has the potential to transform us into a soul that is achingly, astonishingly beautiful. A soul that is resilient and strong. And may even help others grow as they have... helping us all.

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