Soulmate signs tend to whisper rather than shout...

Soulmate signs aren't blow horns and flashing neon. And they aren't a first kiss surrounded by clapping crowds, as Hollywood insists.

Instead, soulmate signs are moments of clarity that bubble up from inside ... and guide us in relationship and in life. Soulmate signs are an accumulation of experiences, including the feeling we have in another's presence.

So you know where I'm coming from, I sincerely believe in reincarnation and the existence of soulmates. Also, that soul groups tend to return to Earth together. So for me, soulmates aren't really that mysterious.

Simply, they're souls we've known before and loved in past lifetimes. So soulmate signs are just two souls saying hello again.

Bet you already have a soulmate

We'll get to soulmate signs for romantic relationships in a sec. But I bet if you think about it now, you already have at least one soulmate in your life.

Because souls embody both sexes, we come back in different relationship combinations. So soulmates can also be our best friends, parents, a beloved teacher, or even our children.

And of course, soulmates can also be the great loves of our lives (and yes, I also believe we can have more than one soulmate).

Soulmate signs are guideposts in life

Soulmates don't bathe in buckets of love right away. The truth about soulmates is that there's (what I call) The Soulmate Continuum, that begins at one end of hte scale with conflict-laden "karmic" soulmates to the other end of the scale: harmonious love. And everything in between.

A karmic relationship often has a conflict, debt or obligation to work out before we get to love. Not everyone can work out all the kinks in one lifetime. But we will always get another chance, somewhere in time.

Soulmate manifestation happens when two people have grown to a compatible point where both have the capacity and willingness to work out any challenges. Once this is done, which could take months or years, things become easier... and all that's left between you is love.

Tip for Manifesting a Soulmate: If you're in the process of creating a real soulmate, be clear about your intention to recognize soulmate signs that lead you to a person with whom you've already “done the work”... so you can get to the harmonious part of your relationship more quickly.

Ten Soulmate Signs for Romantic Relationships

To give you an idea of what to keep an eye out for when you're actively finding your soulmate, here are ten soulmate signs to guide you.

Done and want more? Deepen your understanding by reading this take on soulmate signs as well. The more perspectives you can get on this mysterious topic the better.

You feel strangely comfortable in one another's presence

You're in sync. There's no anxiety between you. You're like two old comfy shoes who have walked many roads together. Yes, there's passion. Yes, there's warmth, support and fun. Depending on your personalities, there may be fireworks! But power-struggles don't prop you up. It's that foundation of comfort that drew you together like a magnet – and keeps you stable and going strong.

When you fight... you work toward understanding

Some couples fight in quiet, intense conversations. Other are more vocal and fiery! Yes, soulmate couples fight. But they fight fairly and work toward a better understanding where there's no “inflated winner” and “depleted loser”. Soulmate signs always indicate growth. So if you're caught in a “circular” conflict or a never-ending power struggle… that's likely karma to work out. Yes, you can get to the bottom of it: but it will take effort on both of your parts. Contrary to what Hollywood says, soulmate relationships are earned... not granted.

You're united... and individually strong too

Hollywood says a soulmate “completes you”. I think this is a dangerous idea! However, I do agree with American clairvoyant Edgar Cayce, who said that soulmates come together to help one another become whole inside themselves. With this in mind, two examples of soulmate signs might be having different opinions yet supporting one another and maintaining a bond of respect; or giving your partner the space to make an important choice (even if it will affect you), while clearly expressing your preferences.

You get one another's sense of humour

Maybe your humour is subtle, low key and dry. Maybe it's playful. Maybe it's boisterous, sexy and outrageous! No matter... laughing together and “getting” one another's humour may not be the main factor to consider (like trust would be)... but it's a powerful, engaging, healthy force that fires up communication, togetherness, sensuality and gives you the resilience to roll with the punches of life. Taken with other factors, it's one of the juicier soulmate signs.

You're not scared that they'll [name your greatest relationship fear...]

In a spiritual soulmate relationship, there's this unquestioned sense of trust between you. You know they'll call back. You know they won't betray you. Or you know they'll level with you if something is wrong. When you fight, it may be hard, but the next morning you're ready to work it out. When you work through differences, there aren't deflated losers and puffed up winners. Can betrayal or infidelity be a soulmate sign? Rare. Maybe a one-time instance – when the experience spurs both of you to reflect, re-commit, and upshift your karmic relationship to a new level.

You're both committed to your own growth

Soulmate relationships are not benevolent gifts bestowed on lonely people to magically take care of all of their problems. When it comes to soulmates and relationships, the connection is also not static, they're dynamic. In fact, trying to keep a relationship “as it was” goes against the principle of soulmates. If one partner grows in a new (positive) direction… the other must follow, in their own way. Soulmate relationships are growth relationships. A soulmate relationship will evolve over time and may even reinvent itself.

Sex deepens your bond... but it's not the foundation

Good sex can increase health and keep two people connected and communicating. It can also be exciting. Loving, tender, juicy sex can be a profound way to experience a soulmate relationship. But if the sex is obsessive, recreational... a dynamic where one person takes and the other gives. Or if there's no care or commitment between you, you might have a karmic relationship on your hands (no judgment). Does sex deepen your connection? Or is the rush of sex all you have? Remember, soulmate relationships are about growth and becoming more whole... sex should in some way enhance this to be considered one of your soulmate signs.

The following His and Her signs may be a bit controversial! If you disagree, you may want to read my interview with Buddhist psychotherapist Tara Springett The Law of The Even Deal.

Special soulmate signs... for her

You break down – and he doesn't leave

This is one that I've heard from friends who I see as soulmate couples. You're dating, having fun. Then you go through something that's devastating (this might be anything from a death, health issue or even recalling abuse). Just while you're waiting for him to pack his bags, he steps up… and loans you his strength as you work through it, and you get closer. Hint: Loaning you his strength (rather than draining you) is one of the most important soulmate signs for women. Along with the next one....

Does he nurture you?

He loves to keep you happy and treat you well. So he looks for ways to help out, care for you, bring you something that delights you... or in other tender, sensual ways nurture you. This kicks off the energy exchange between you. Your role in keeping this “soulmate energy circuit” flowing by the way, is you giving back to him in appreciation for what he does... one of the more lovely soulmate signs, yes?

You trust him enough to follow his lead

In a karmic relationship, there's an underlying power struggle. In a spiritual soulmate relationship, the woman (or receptive partner) trusts their partner enough to follow his lead. The way you express your power as a powerful woman is not taking control, or doing it all yourself (leaving him in the dust). It's sharing how you feel about his proposal, deciding yes or no for yourself, and giving him an opportunity to adjust. The end result is both of you feeling powerful and heading in a mutually agreed-upon “win-win” direction. See how that works? Nice.

Special soulmate signs... for him

She inspires you to go out... and fulfill your mission!

Yes, she may challenge you and call you on your bullshit (with a smile). She may keep you on your toes and make you want to be a better person (cool). But ultimately your spiritual soulmate relationship will inspire you to go out into the world, live your soul mission and manifest your dreams. So as a creator, whether your tools are notes, words, paint brushes... or meaningful businesses, she will be your muse.

She appreciates what you do for her

You may be the guy that loves organizing grand gestures, giving a killer massage, compelling toe-curling pleasure, or cooking on a Saturday night – you choose how you give (and note her responses please... adjusting accordingly). But the question to ask yourself is... does she not only inspire you to give... but appreciate what you do for her? If the answer is no, this is your red flag. But! When that giving-receiving-giving energy circuit is complete (and juicily flowing)... her appreciation of what you do is one of your most powerful soulmate signs.

She follows your lead... with clear feedback on how she feels

You may banter, and even disagree at times – that's cool. But she doesn't try to control you. Instead, she trusts you to take the lead... and clearly tells you how she feels. And you listen and adjust based on her response. This way, the energy flows between you and you land together going in the same direction. By “leading” I don't mean doing it all and getting nothing back. I mean engaging a win-win dynamic where you're both involved... and feel powerful and heard. Yum.

All good? If you enjoyed these soulmate signs...

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Take me to:

How to recognize your soulmate – Ten (more) signs of a soulmate connection and how to make sure you don't miss them.

Soulmate test – How will you recognize your soulmate? Your twin flame? A karmic relationship? Take this revealing soul mate test to find out...

Soulmate sex – Is there such a thing? I believe there is. What's different is that soulmate sex penetrates not just the body... but the soul.

Soulmate Indicators – Soulmate indicators hold possibility. But it's up to you to transform them into soulmate reality!

The law of the even deal – An interview with Buddhist Psychotherapist and author Tara Springett about what makes a soulmate relationship work (yes, Tara has found her soulmate).

Characteristics of true love – Here are ten (surprising) ways you'll feel when you're in the presence of your soulmate...