Pacing around instead of stepping forward: what it means

“Once I make up my mind, I'm full of indecision.”

– Oscar Levant

I'd be a happy gal, if I could live in my imagination, and forget about the rent. Tap into my creativity, without worrying about whether I'm spending time productively.

Since about 2002, I've done just that. Dove into my creations, spent (literally) tens of thousands of dollars, and thousands of hours of time. I did so with an open heart, and without expectations. If I had stayed tried and true in the 9 to 5, my mortgage would be less and my retirement savings would be more: but each day, I would have died a little.

So was it worth it for me? Yes. Are the Big Decisions over? Not one bit.

When you're heart's on fire... beware of burnout

“It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”

– J.K. Rowling

You know that High on Life Faith we radiate as we finally leap into the unknown? The feeling we get when we finally leave that job, or that relationship, or start our own business. That euphoria?

This initial radiance can propel us for a time. For me, it lasted years. Yet in between peaks, I began to wonder whether my creative life (however rich in experience) was ever to contribute to how I lived in the material world. Whether I’d ever be able to tap into my passion, to pay the mortgage if you will.

Well, I'm a believer, as you know. I do believe that there's a way to tap into our passions, profitably. For me, the toughest part was finding something that combines my passion for the Heart, with my love of technical details, an odd mix.

Yes, I am heart focused. I also like making the details simple for others and bringing complex stuff down to earth. That's my plain language consulting side, and it's as much a part of me, as Moondance.

Key decision points and rising stakes

“One's real life is often the life that one does not lead”

– Oscar Wilde

If you're on a growth path, you'll be asked again and again to Leap, stakes rising.

After one or more false starts, gravity may set in, like it has for me this week. Which is why I'm hesitating, walking in circles, yet knowing what I must do.

So perhaps you pace. Bite your nails. Perhaps your procrastination plays out in your creative life, or in matters of the heart. Perhaps like me, you know what you need to do, what your intuition says, yet something's holding you back.

Fear of failure? Fear of success? Disapproval of family? Don't underestimate the power of that last one.

Of course, the universe doesn't see it this way, in black and white. It supports you without judgment as you learn, as you choose to grow — or not. It supports our journeys, for our role after all, is as an Experiencer.

What does your heart want you to begin?

“What you can do, or dream you can, begin it; Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.”

– Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Nurturing what's inside our hearts and detaching from outcomes: this is the way. If you're on a growth path, what's important is that you Do. Say. Try. Practice. Experience and Express.

Ask yourself. Is the expression of singing any less valuable to us as a soul being, if it's only witnessed by a few? Is creativity, in any form? Is genuinely expressing Love or Forgiveness any less valuable, if it's not received right away?

Success is a misnomer in our new, emerging reality. The universe supports us in our external failures, as much as our successes, for each catalyst we create has the potential to transform our Hearts.

Yet the threads of old thinking remain. I'm aware of this as I write, yet I'm still planning a trip this fall to the Czech Republic, and to do that will require that peculiar energy form, that we call money.

My mind rants:
Maybe I should just sell everything and move to a lake.
Maybe I should stop chasing the dream, and go back to 9 to 5.
Maybe I should stop working so hard, and start a garden.

I've considered all of these things, and I'm doing none of them. Today.

Which brings me back to my pacing around in circles, instead of giving my baby One Last Push into the world, letting her go gratefully, knowing that I'm different just having created Her. Knowing she supports the awakening of intuition, my self-trust.

Will you recognize the breakthrough?

“Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.”

– Sydney Smith

Maybe like me, you're standing at a precipice, ready to stretch another layer of what's comfortable and known.

The object of your desire may be a relationship, a family, a career, a creation. No matter. Do the following.

Imagine for a moment, what happens if you do nothing. Close your eyes and scan your body. Imagine the end of your life, looking back, having done nothing, at this juncture in your life. Then imagine the opposite.

How does your body feel? Is it that sweet exhilaration, as if you're walking on a stage? Or is it heavy, blocked, like dread. You know the difference. You don't need me to tell you that.

One final reminder as you prepare to Leap forward: breakthroughs have many faces.

You soul may rejoice at the transformation of your heart. It may jump for joy, at your restored Faith. It may shout hurrah when you create a new relationship, or deepen an ancient one, or grow a family, or a garden.

Or, your soul may walk silently with you, as you touch millions of others, and in exchange for your unique expression, offer that peculiar energy we call money.

There you stand. Are you ready to accept and receive all possibilities, all kinds of breakthroughs?

Good. Now jump.

Meaning of life articles for your heart. Created with love.

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