Awakening when loved ones are not: is your relationship doomed?

“The teacher who is indeed wise does not bid you to enter the house of his wisdom but rather leads you to the threshold of your mind.”

– Khalil Gibran

Awakening when loved ones are not isn't an easy place to be. Hey, I've been there myself and still am in many ways. Yet, is it our jobs to spark others' awakening? To coax them through?

Well, unless you're someone who's chosen a path of supporting others as they personally transform (and others give you permission to do this for them), it's really not your job.

In fact, if you make efforts to spark another's awakening, your efforts may just backfire. You see, when we impose ourselves onto another without permission, we break one of the most important “rules” of The Shift: do not infringe on another's free will.

Of course, we can go ahead and do this, for free will reigns. But as we upset the balance, we may incur karma.

Don't blind them, honour their process

When we first have spiritual awakening symptoms, whether they were triggered by an intense personal development class or a traumatic event that shook us to our core and forced us to see life differently (or die), our hearts open and radiate at a higher vibration.

We see life through a different lens, and we begin to recognize how blind we've been all this time. However, our epiphanies can appear crazy to someone who hasn't been through their own awakening. And in order to preserve relationships and honour others' process, it may be prudent to keep our exuberance in check.

At my most significant “awakening” experience, the Trust Program, I remember the facilitator Cynthia said to us on the last day: when you go back into your lives, don't blind the people that you love. Just allow them to witness the difference in you. Allow them to come to their own openness, in their own time. She was so right.

Yes, the euphoria of awakening can appear “crazy”

When the heart bursts open for the first time, it's a euphoric experience and a bit unreal. It makes people propose, make grand gestures, take risks that in broad daylight they wouldn't consider. Heart Awakening is like life's natural drug.

Because I write about the heart online, I've received emails from others experiencing awakenings. Just last year, a highly educated young man was awakening, and then found The Soulmate Site. He wrote me a beautiful heartfelt letter, asking if I was still single, because for the first time he was open to oneness and true love. Knowing his vulnerable state, I sent a kind note back, knowing how vulnerable he was. A year later, I do hope that he's found his beloved!

Others don't quite know what to do with heart energy and misinterpret it. A few years back, I wrote a generous email, referring someone whose work I admired. I received a long, emotive email inviting me to open to him emotionally (he was married). For that one, I remained quiet.

If you're awake, your more clearly see the shadows

After our initial awakenings crystallize into a new level of understanding, we begin to see our shadows more clearly. Plus the shadows of those we love. We want EVERYONE to be as happy as we are. They MUST do this program. They MUST work with this healer. They MUST, or their very soul is at risk. We begin to be relentless promoters of Truth.

Some of us awakened souls become rabid Evangalists! At this stage, we can not only blind people, but put them off. We may see ourselves as “helping”. But really, if the person doesn't want to be “helped” then we've overstepped boundaries.

I spent quite a few years at this stage. For me, the “helper” wasn't normally rabid or intrusive. But she came to the surface whenever I saw someone in pain (and sadly, that was often as I'm a good listener).

Over the years, I realized that people in pain fall into two camps. The first wants a safe space to process, and they're owning their experience: this I support. Others may just want to dump their stuff on whoever will listen. They go away feeling better. The soother feels depleted. This I no longer support.

Who do you invite into your life?

Fast forward. Over the past 18 months or so, I noticed something inside myself. A new level of acceptance of others choices and beliefs and no more need to “help” others when they're in pain (unless they specifically ask).

It's true, my closest friends are on a growth path in one form or another. They have chosen the “How”, the healers, the beliefs, the steps that they're wiling to take. Most aren't into astrology or believe in karma. Many have never taken a personal development course or done energy work. Some are just kind, quirky, open, giving, that spark in their eye. They come from all walks of life and their hearts are open.

There are also people who have been dropping out of my life. These are the ones who blame, feed on drama, who feed off of others energy instead of nurturing their own. They judge. They may feed off triangles. They may be accomplished, fun and even giving at times. After being with them, I feel depleted, less than. When the phone rings, I dread picking up. So now — I don't.

Love is infinite, everywhere

More and more, I see the Love in people, expressed in an infinite number of ways. This has nothing to do with the healer they've visited, the programs they've done, how they dress or their spiritual beliefs. I feel their energy. I see the light in their eyes.

In the smallest personal exchange with someone, I can feel the love inside them, or the lack. Where there's anger, where there's pain, where there's a need to feed, it's also easier for me to walk away with love, too. I honour that person's choice to hang out where they are. It's also cool that I choose not to.

When evaluating a relationship, ask: does this person bring joy to my life? Do I feel safe in their presence? Am I free to explore what's important to me, and are they free to explore what's important to them in an atmosphere of love and support? Does it matter that you are awakening when your loved ones are not?

That's what's important. If the answer is yes, love the light in them and let go of the rest. If no, make a choice of how you wish to engage and for how long.

In this way, your relationships can be nurtured. And so can your Heart.

Meaning of life articles for your heart. Created with love.

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